Leadership / Anger / Frustration
Leadership Moment — 18 Feb 22
If you cannot control or influence it, don’t get angry about it!
My ninth-grade son has many strengths. Lots of capabilities and things he can do well. Getting ready for school in the morning isn’t one of them.
My wife and I have driven our two sons to school since they were in first / second grade for a couple of reasons. For one, they have to catch the bus about 45 minutes earlier than if we drive them. The second reason is we decided them sitting on a bus with kids from kindergarten through high school 45 minutes a day, twice, was not good. This was highlighted when my then-second-grader asked at the dinner table what “pussy” meant. Got it, kids are going to hear things from other kids but second grade was too early for our taste. Finally, for the last two years, we live in an area which is laden with vaccine skeptics. They both ended up with COVID anyway but we tried.
My youngest son has little problem getting ready. He’s fourteen and prepares for school through minimal effort. This includes a daily reminder to brush his teeth but he’s quick about it.
The fifteen-year old is different. Getting ready just isn’t a priority for him. The result is he is sometimes late or makes his brother late or they both are.
I despise being late. For anything. Twenty plus years in the Army makes that a habit. I do realize stuff happens and it’s sometimes unavoidable. The vast majority of the time it’s more than possible if you simply make it so.
This morning I became extremely angry and took the youngest to school so he would be on time. Told the older one to wait for my return. There may have been some snarling and raised voice in the telling.
Thought / seethed about my frustration to middle school and back and then picked up the laggard. Then I subjected him to the worst of all punishments — the Dad Lecture. He was a captive audience for the 12-minute drive. I almost took a wrong turn to drag it out a little longer (but I didn’t).
In a calm voice, I talked to him about how there is no shortage of things in life that will sabotage your plans. When those are beyond your control or…
