Humor / Valentine’s Day / Satire
The 5 Anger Languages
When Valentine’s Day goes wrong.
Of course, we’ve all heard of the five love languages: words, acts, gifts, time, and touch. Or something like that. Let me enlighten you on something more useful for men when you screw up Valentine’s Day. Again. The five anger languages. They’re just like the love languages only different.
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First, let’s say you forgot about Valentine’s Day in the morning, went to work where someone reminded you, and you stopped at Walgreen’s on the way home. You picked up the really big Russell Stover Candy heart with the dark and light red plastic cellophane. You dropped $20–25 on it so you’re good, right?
Ho, ho, ho, I don’t think so. Welcome to the first anger language: silence. Your wife dressed nicely, maybe a little naughty for you when you arrived and you bring her this?
She greeted you at the door, saw what was in your hands, and about-faced to head straight to her bedroom because it certainly isn’t yours. Welcome to Anger Language #1 — silence. All in all, bad but survivable.
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Now let’s say you woke up in the morning, left early for work without saying anything. Again, at work someone reminds you so you stop…
