Fiction / Opinion / Politics / Shooting
Those Damn Geese
Got up this morning and started checking the news. An article caught my eye about a wild goose attacking a child during a picnic. I thought that was interesting and at the bottom of the article were links to similar types of stories. Before I knew it, my coffee had gotten cold and I’d spent a couple of hours reading dozens of articles about geese and ducks attacking people in parks and then one about a goose crashing a plane by getting sucked into the engine and finally some pieces about bird flu and how it’s spread by birds.
Finally, I’d had enough. I picked up my Glock 19, pulled the slide to make sure there was one in the chamber, and then tucked it into my IWB holster. I clipped the holster onto my belt and headed to the park for my morning walk. Better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it. Plus, in this day-and-age, you never know.
I was later than usual because I’d spent so much time reading but that was okay. I’m semi-retired and work about as much as I want to. That gives me plenty of time to keep up on the news and track just how fast our great nation is going down the toilet.
The park where I like to walk is about a five-minute drive from the house and most of the trail is along the river. There’s a ton of stinking geese (aka shit factories) that are always hanging around there. Seems like they could do something to contribute to society other than shit everywhere.
I parked, making sure I was in my space. I hate those a-holes who can’t seem to get their Kia’s or Subaru’s inside the lines. I wonder how the hell they got out of kindergarten if they colored the same way.
As I started down the walking trail, I was thinking about all the articles I’d read that morning. Hard to believe geese and birds in general were so damn dangerous! There was that one about the goose that got sucked into a jet engine and caused an emergency landing, the one about the little kid getting attacked at a picnic, then there’s the damned bird flu. America would be a helluva lot better off without them!
About that time, I came around the bend in the trail when it approached the river. There’s a bridge…