Fiction / Humor / Paranoia
Top 10 Things to Do When Everyone’s Out to Get You
Someone once said when you think everyone is against you, remember there are still a few small neutral countries.
Don’t believe it. They’re out to get you as well. All of them. Looking to rip you off, take advantage of you, and rob you blind.
Paranoid? Yeah, I don’t think so.
1. When you take your vehicle in to get worked on (oil change, rotate the tires, whatever), wait until you’re almost on empty. That way they won’t take your wheels out for a joyride. Or if they do, they’ll have to at least pay for gas. Bonus if the fuel light is on.
2. Wrap your wallet in tin foil. I don’t know if it defeats the RFID stuff, but people will think you’re weird and keep their distance.
3. Anytime someone sneezes in your vicinity, jump back violently and yell, “THAT WAS ON PURPOSE!” It lets people know you’re on to them and they won’t do it again.
4. Only make left turns when driving. It will make it harder to get to places but you’ll be…
